Forgotten

I used to be afraid of being forgotten by my friends and family. It had happened before and it hurt me so much, my mind easily went to all the reasons why they would forget about me. When they remember me, I return to"normal". I never told them that I was hurt, no one knew that I cried. Eventually I got used to it. It happened over and over again, that I slowly realized that I wasn't worth remembering. That I wasn't needed, that it was pointless trying.
I remember the day I realized the moment. I was depress for a while then, my mother had yelled insults at me once more, I was tired from taking every single one of them. I was home alone and was quietly crying to myself. A thought flashed through my head. A picture in my head of the knife in the kitchen. So I got up from the bed and quietly took it to my room. I could hear my heart thumping from my chest as if telling me this isn't something I should do. Thoughts ran through my head over and over again. I started to talk to myself. My mind and my heart were fighting with each other. It came across me that no one knew that I felt like this. My friends and my family was left out of the dust. They didn't have a clue that I almost died that night by my hand. They still don't know. My mother had called at the right time and said she was going to buy sushi for me to eat as an apology for what she said earlier.
A bribe for forgivness. I didn't take the bribe, but I also didn't take my life. I was going to use every chance I got to make everyone feel the same pain I felt.
I was going to kill myself when they least expect it and they are going to realized that ever time I tried to hurt myself was because of them and they didn't know a single thing about it. My ultimate revenge is the one that is going to hurt them the most. I won't be forgotten so easily anymore. My death will be one that they will remember and be in pain ever single time.